Impacts of bariatric surgery on relationships
Research tells us that weight loss induced by bariatric surgery can affect the dynamics of close interpersonal relationships. For a single person, losing a significant amount of weight means they are statistically more likely to find a partner. For people who are married or already in a relationship who undergo bariatric surgery, research reports a higher incidence of separation and divorce.
Sometimes a patient's partner may perceive weight loss as a threat to the relationship and be afraid of a change in the status quo. They may fear a loss of power in a previously dependent relationship or the new options that may be available for the patient to leave the relationship when she becomes more confident and attracts more attention from the opposite sex. (depending on your sexual preference).

Relationships between people can change after bariatric surgery as the patient becomes more self-confident and able to take charge of his or her own life. They may feel like they have more agency in their own lives to make decisions for themselves and feel freer to be themselves. However, research tells us that poor family relationships before surgery are the strongest predictor of a higher incidence of separation and divorce. Weight loss is usually not the root cause of separation. When the patient begins to feel better emotionally, physically and psychologically, he can seek to improve other areas of his life. They may have the confidence to address any relationship issues, unhappiness or dysfunction in the relationship, or end it entirely.
Qualitative studies show that the feeling of “joint trip” between couples is important to the success of a bariatric surgery journey and to maintaining a healthy relationship. I am always pleased to see a partner accompany a patient to their initial meetings with the team because any fears they may have are usually calmed when they meet with the team and are included in the discussions. It is important for couples to talk about their fears and expectations with each other and with the team. It is helpful to focus on the physical and health benefits of surgery and what those benefits can bring to your life and future. In healthy relationships, most people only want the best of health for each other.

For many patients, the changes experienced with bariatric surgery are positive and have a positive impact on all areas of their lives, including their close relationships. Changes in relationships are not always bad and couples can build closer connections as their lives are enriched with new vitality and zest for life. It is important for couples to understand and discuss how to address these changes, and this can lead to a deepening of their relationship as they share this life-changing journey together.
Leslie Hartley
WLSA Bariatric Psychologist