One of the key teachings of Tantra that can help rekindle the spark in your relationship is to polarity.
According to Tantra, the entire Universe is created as a result of the interaction between two opposite poles, Shiva and Shakti.
Several of the early important tantra scriptures are written as a dialogue between Shiva and Shakti.
Shiva is the polarity of the Divine Masculine and Shakti is the polarity of the Divine Feminine.
For creation to take place, it is necessary for the masculine and the feminine to unite in love, thus giving rise to the Universe.
This principle is everywhere in the universe and is also known as yin and yang. As human beings, of course, this is obviously visible as men and women. But even within each individual we have both opposite poles. We have both masculine and feminine energies within us, and the dominant pole can change and shift from one moment to the next.
Polarity creates sexual attraction.
And understanding this can really help your relationship with your partner, especially if you feel like the passion is fading and you want to rekindle the spark.
As an individual, you have a balance of both polarities within you. And that ratio of male to female changes, on a sliding scale. Sometimes we can be more feminine and at other times we can be more masculine. Many times it depends on the situation or circumstances in which we may find ourselves at a specific moment in our lives.
But when it comes to intimacy and passion in our relationship, there needs to be polarity between the two partners. That means when you interact with your partner. In the moments when you interact with him or her, you need to be in the opposite polarity from them to rekindle the spark and chemistry of attraction and passion.
Polarity, as a mechanism for creating life, is the basis of the Universe.
This is a fundamental principle of nature…a car engine will not start if there is no spark from the battery. And the battery can only generate that spark if it has the polarity of negative and positive electrical charge.
The same goes for relationships.
Depolarization leads to a loss of passion in a relationship and a loss of sexual chemistry. Depolarization occurs when both partners channel and relate to each other in a similar type of energy, whether masculine or feminine.
Tantra reminds us that we must recognize this polarity between the masculine and the feminine, both within ourselves and between us and our partner.
With a tantric approach, we can learn to embody and maintain our own polarity, while encouraging and highlighting the opposite polarity in our partner. And, by the way, this is true for both heterosexual and gay or lesbian relationships.
To bring out the opposite polarity in our partner, it is important to be loving, compassionate and accept their flaws or imperfections. With tantric practices we can create a safe space that allows for vulnerability, as our partner is learning to find their way internally with this process.
As tantra teacher Chantelle Raven says…
The feminine must learn to trust the wisdom of the masculine and its ability to act clearly despite its fears and emotions. The masculine must learn to adore a woman’s radiance and give her attention, presence and compliments, despite her desire to get things done and go more inward.
Chantelle Cuervo, 2020.
Tantra has many beautiful practices for worshiping and honoring the opposite polarity. In future posts we will look at some specific couple practices where Shakti worships the Sacred Masculine of Shiva and Shiva worships the Sacred Feminine of Shakti.
By applying the teachings of Tantra to your relationship, you can rediscover love on a deeper level.
When the surface excitement of physical attraction wanes and loses its novelty, this step of going deeper to recognize and honor the divine polarity in your partner can take your relationship to a new level.
If you do not transform, love cannot be renewed.
Tantra also invites us to continually strive for the transformation of our consciousness. Work on ourselves, integrate our emotions, so that we can gradually remove the layers of conditioning that have been preventing us from realizing our Divine nature.
This inner work of increasing awareness and transformation is a huge benefit to a relationship, especially if both partners are doing their inner work.
Psychologist and Tantra teacher Blandine Wegener of Mahasiddha Yoga Thailand talks about this, in relation to her own long-term tantric relationship…
A death sentence for many relationships is that they do not actively commit to transforming. Transformation and love go hand in hand. If you do not transform, love cannot be renewed.
Blandine Wegener, 2020.
Essential to this transformation is communicating and sharing your own internal process with your partner. This open communication builds trust and understanding. By sharing and becoming vulnerable, you break through superficial layers of emotions and are able to identify the main triggers that may be causing conflict.
So, following a tantric path helps you connect with your sensual and safe essence, to connect with your relationship polarity, in your interactions with your partner.
By interacting with your partner from the opposite polarity, in a safe, loving and fun way, you can rekindle that spark and maintain the passion and love indefinitely.
Check out these other posts that could affect your relationship…
The Shadow Self, Tantra and the Samskaras.
Six central elements of the practice of the tantric law of attraction.
References:
Cuervo, C. (October 28, 2020). The secrets of romantic chemistry. embodiedawakeningacademy.org. https://embodiedawakeningacademy.com/the-secrets-to-romantic-chemistry/
Wegener, B. (July 24, 2020). Tantra Podcast: Maintaining Passion in Long-Term Relationships. tantrayogathailand.com. https://tantrayogathailand.com/tantra-podcast-maintaining-passion-in-long-term-relationships/