Tantra: a turning point for dating

The principles of Tantra can be applied very well to many aspects of love. And for the different phases of romantic love.

The way we approach love and dating changes radically when we understand that Tantra is a perspective of seeing everything and everyone as expressions of the Divine. Everything we experience as humans can serve to expand our consciousness and our capacity to love.

As a scholar and practitioner of Tantra, Christopher Wallis once said…

“Tantra teaches that although the Divine is more than meets the eye, it is also all that the eyes can see (or the ear can hear, or noise can smell, etc.).”

Tantra teaches that although the Divine is more than meets the eye, it is also all that the eyes can see (or the ear can hear, or the nose can smell, etc.):

Christopher Hareesh Wallis, 2015.

Dating from a Tantra perspective cultivates more love and connection.

This Tantric worldview makes it ideal to use as a tool to cultivate more love and connection with others, on a variety of levels…from physical intimacy to emotional and spiritual connection.

When we are dating someone, we are in the first initial phase of attraction and connection with that person. The conventional approach to dating, the non-Tantric approach, encourages us to think that there is, or could be, something wrong with other people, and even something wrong with us.

Modern society conditions us to focus too much on finding faults and imperfections in someone we are doing. At the same time, we have been conditioned to feel that we may have too many flaws and imperfections to be worthy of true love. Often, on a subconscious level, we believe that we do not deserve to have a satisfying relationship with a quality loving partner. And we end up self-sabotaging our dating efforts, as we too easily find excuses and reasons to reject potential partners.

By focusing on flaws and imperfections, we can end up closing the door to many wonderful opportunities to meet and connect with amazing, loving people.

Most modern dating apps devalue you as a person.

Social media encourages us to focus on our imperfections and compare ourselves to others. This loveless attitude toward ourselves and others has created a throwaway dating culture. Modern dating apps have turned dating into almost a video game where you can entertain yourself by swiping through photos of men and women and get a hit of dopamine when someone matches you.

This unloving approach of trying to find a deep, loving connection with someone does more harm than good.

Tantric Dating honors you (and others) as a special sacred being.

On the other hand, the tantric approach to dating begins with the foundation that everyone is an expression of Divine consciousness and everyone is worthy of love.

Tantric insight allows you to realize that you are special and beautiful, including your imperfections, and that you are worthy of love, that you are worthy of having quality relationships with wonderful people.

This understanding in itself has a huge impact on the psychology of our non-verbal communication. When we take this tantric approach and begin to love ourselves for the radiant loving spark of Divine consciousness that we are, we begin to transmit a very different quality of vibration than we had previously done. This causes us to change the subconscious signals we send to the Universe and begin to attract a very different quality of potential romantic partners.

Additionally, taking a tantric approach to dating allows us to see beyond the superficial imperfections of others and get to the true, deeper beauty of a person. From a tantric perspective, we recognize that everyone is a unique expression of the Divine. When we cultivate within ourselves that love for the Divine, the Divine within ourselves and within others, we can feel the deepest beauty in another person.

In tantric dating, everyone we meet is potentially our loved ones.

That feeling of being loved can be just for a moment or for a date. We may well discover that we don't have much in common after all, and after the first date, we'll never see them again.

But even then, we have experienced something beautiful and loving in those brief moments with that person. We have briefly opened ourselves to the loving energy of the Universe. We have changed our own personal frequency and have begun to transmit a loving vibration that sooner or later attracts a partner of compatible vibration to us.

This tantric approach makes the entire dating process much lighter, fun and joyful. And all of our dating experiences become beautiful, uplifting, and enriching, regardless of whether or not it works for that person.

Tantric love and marriage therapist Catherine Auman says about dating…

“If we always think I can't love this other person because they're not good enough for me, that's about you, not the other person. How about (instead): let me enjoy this other spiritual being, and even if it's not the romantic fantasy, we are together in this perfect place sharing love in this perfect moment?

If we are always thinking “I can't love this other person because they are not good enough for me,” that is about you, not the other person. How about (instead): let me enjoy this other spiritual being, and even if it's not the romantic fantasy, we are together in this perfect place sharing love in this perfect moment?

Catherine Auman, 2020.

YuTantra is the tantric alternative to conventional online dating apps.

This Tantric approach to love and dating is the basis of the online Tantra dating and friendship community I founded, called YuTantra. YuTantra.com is a safe online space where you can find and connect with others who share your interest in Tantra. Whether you're looking for dates, new friendships, or local Tantra events, at YuTantra you'll find a respectful community of intelligent, beautiful souls looking for something in common with you.

One of the fundamental values of YuTantra is authenticity.

When I created YuTantra, I wanted to offer an alternative to the superficial apps and online dating sites that seem to be all the rage in recent years.

YuTantra is based on the tantric approach to have more love and awareness in the dating process. It's not like Tinder, where you log in because you're bored and just flip through pictures to get that hit of dopamine every time someone matches you. In YuTantra you won't find any “swiping” here.

Instead of ruling out potential matches at the drop of a hat because of a single photo, you get the chance to see the depth and wisdom of the members here. Additionally, measures are taken to ensure that only genuine and serious profiles are approved.

To conclude, Tantra is a wonderful perspective that you can cultivate, which can radically change your dating experiences and help you manifest a quality loving partner in your life.

Check out these other posts about tantric dating…

Why do I keep attracting the same type of partner? – A tantric perspective.

Tantric Dating: Is This Love Block Stopping You From Finding Your Soulmate?

Tantric dating: why is dating so difficult?